Last time I posted an article about negative people, I got over 100 comments the first day. Calling out the haters and labeling them for what they are can really stir the pot. LOL! And heck, it’s been over a year since I last took the time to dedicate an entire article to negative people, so I figured it was time!
99% of the time, I choose to just focus on the positives, not the negatives. That’s probably why I’m successful in my health, my fitness, and my coaching. I am a “glass half full” kind of guy.
Ignoring the resistance of negative people has become second nature to me by this point, but in the early weeks of my transformation it was something that sort of shocked me.
And believe me, after having my results photos and videos “out there” for the world to critique for a year now, I’ve heard it all –
“You must have done roids to look like that.”
“You didn’t get stronger. You just lost fat.”
“There’s no way you changed that much in 90 days — you are lying.”
“Your abs are asymmetrical.”
“Your dog is trying to hump your leg in the video.”
Granted, 99% of the feedback I get is positive, but yes, I’ve heard all those! And it gets a little annoying, but hey, if that makes them feel better to try and jab at me, so be it! It isn’t going to deter me! Besides, I thought my dog messing with me in the video was cute, and my abs are the way God made them, and at least I can see them unlike the fat guy sitting at his computer who is making fun of them LOL!
Bringing it is HARD! Eating really, really clean is HARD! But guess what! Those aren’t the only obstacles you will face on your fitness journey. One of the most frustrating obstacles is the negative people that come at your from every angle — the “Naysayers” (people who resist the change you are trying to make in your life). They come in many forms, and can be casual acquaintances, co-workers, and even your close family members. Usually, the negative resistance comes in the following forms:
“Come on, ONE cheat meal isn’t going to hurt you.”
“What? Are you going to work out every single day for the rest of your life without ever skipping a day?”
“Are you never going to eat a piece of cake again? What about your birthday?”
“You are looking too skinny.” (My personal favorite!)
“You look sick. Are you okay?”
“You are pushing it too hard and you are just going to burn out and quit. Take it easy.”
“I’m worried that you are becoming obsessed with working out.”
“Spending 1 hour per day working out isn’t practical for the long term. We don’t have time for that kind of time commitment.” (usually said by someone who spends at least 3 or 4 hours watching TV every day! Haha)
“We can’t ever go out to eat and just have fun because you are worried about eating healthy all the time.”
Have you heard these yet? I’ve heard them all! It’s frustrating, because believe me, I’d love to pig out on Taco Bueno with the rest of my co-workers, but to sit there and eat my chicken / apple / carrots while they stuff nachos in their mouth is hard. It’s also annoying that the entire time they say things like “Are you still not eating?“, as if chicken, fruit, and veggies don’t count as food because they aren’t deep fried!
And to be called “too skinny” by all the people I know makes me crazy! I’m 225 pounds people!!! Since when is that “skinny”?? People who have seen my “after” pics don’t call me skinny! They call me RIPPED!! The only people who call me skinny are the people who knew the fat me for the last 10 years! They were just used to me being fat, and that made them comfortable. Now I’m super fit, and all of a sudden they don’t like it!
The real issue is that I’ve made a change and I’m not fat anymore. And for many, when you or I become very fit, it threatens them! It makes them more sensitive to their own fitness / nutrition / weight issues. Some will be motivated by our transformation (which is our desire), but many others would rather try to pull us back down where we were in order to feel better about themselves.
Be ready for it guys and gals! It’s the hardest part of making this change. The resistance you’ll face can knock you off track if you aren’t ready to meet it head on. I’ve learned how to respond to each of the above statements, and you’ll need to also! If haters are bringing you down, check in here, e-mail me, or read some success stories from our Hall of Fame. Focus on the positive. Keep your eyes on the prize. Don’t listen to haters. Their negative attitude is their problem, not yours!
Something I would advise you all to do is to write down your goals, including the “WHY“. Why did you decide to start this fitness program? What things do you want to change about your body / mind / attitude / energy level / habits? When others bring you down, look at your “WHY“. You started this journey not out of convenience or because you thought it would be easy. You had reasons … GOOD ONES! Your “WHY” statements will outweigh any negative talk you hear from others.
My “WHY” included setting the right example for my kids, having more energy, and treating my body like it’s a blessing from God that I want to use for His glory and His purposes. These are a lot more important to me than someone at work saying I look “too skinny”! Keep Bringing It!!!!
Yesterday one of my coworkers said your too skinny. I wanted to say "that is what fat people say to me all the time" but i took a few seconds and explained to them my new eating habits, my fitness, and how it has transformed not only my body but my outlook on my life. The hardest part of my journey is dealing with the negative people around me. It's still amazing to me that no one would say anything when I use to get up for work in the morning, skip breakfast, have three or four mountain dew soft drinks, two or three snicker bars and rarely had lunch. If i had lunch it was always some sort of fast food. Then I would always have dinner around 8-9 pm every night. Not very healthy. Now I never skip a meal, I fuel my body every few hours from 8am to 8pm. I am eating six times a day and the people around tell me I am not eat enough. AMAZING!!!
Hey coach Wayne, This makes allot of sense as i am constantly being heckled by friends, bosses, family, and friends. I work an incredibly physical job on top of a hybrid I'm doing right now; most people can't believe the transformation i have undergone. I've actually been drug tested a few times because they thought i was on some type off narcotic due to the short period of time i lost the weight. My friends are heavy drinkers, my family eats poorly; but i like to use every encounter with negativity as a time to evangelize the practicality and logic behind a clean lifestyle. We all know its possible, and that's how digging deeper separates us! Ben
Hi, I find I'm my worst hate and in fact I actually only get positive reinforcement but then hate on the people giving it to me. Now don't get me wrong I'm not negative all the time and find it easy to get my motivation up. How do I stop being my own worst enemy? W
I actually ate cake for the first time in forever on my birthday a couple of weeks ago. My sister got a whole wheat cake from Whole Foods that was filled with strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. It was so good!
Today was very bad in the relationship area for me. I was told working out today was wrong because it was a Holliday. My diet is becoming a problem because I am no fun to go out with. I guess when your spouse is over weight and can't stop drinking it is a problem. The more fit I become the more insecure she becomes. People that are not happy with themselves get really defensive if you show them the excuses they have been using don't work any more. I am not going to blow all this hard work for anyone.
Wayne, Thanks for all that you do man. You make it very simple for people to read and see just what you went through in your journey. I just don't see why that wouldn't motivate more to say.."hey if he can do it..I can do it." Its all about attitude! I say let them be jealous! It takes a lot of work to be committed to something a lifestyle change when "everybody" around you is telling you "you are nuts!". Heck i'm on day 4 of my P90x journey and you know what....its tough! It will definitely make you leave your ego at the door. I'm so sore I can hardly walk! But that's what its about. Push yourself! Diet change is hard to from the "typical" american diet.I want a diet Dr pepper so bad! I was a life long carboholic! I mean all the time. But as I got older the carbs didn't agree with my body and none existent fitness lifestyle that I had so wonderfully acquired. And I got out of shape. Change only comes with sacrifice and breaking some "habits." The question is how bad do you want it? I read this the other day and thought it was appropriate. "Don't be upset by the results you didn't get with the work you didn't do!" I think that you have really proven that support and a positive attitude is essentiale. Keep pushing us!
Hey coach I was just looking at your YouTube page. Some of the negative comments are just ridiculous. I kind of get what you are going through. In my profession, I am in the public eye. In the most sucessful times of my career, the haters would come out like weeds. Especially online. Most comments would be really nice, but some would just be awful. I would have to make sure that my kids wouldnt see them. I see what you are dealing with. Hats off to you cause I know you don't need any of this. You're just trying to help others. Even though I'm positive you are not doing this for the money, I hope you make a fortune. You deserve it Thanks! mc
MC, those can be a pain, but thanks. You can only do what you can do, keeping positive is key. YouTube really brings out the "experts" and their opinions too LOL!
We went over to my mothers house to play some beach volleyball and jet skiing at the end of my first week of p90x. I finished the week strong and am feeling good about myself, but I had to tell them all I would not be seeing them for 90 day because it is too hard being around people drinking and eating things I love to eat. My sister stopped at the Italian deli and brought lunch meat and cheese with crusty bread, my favorite. I held off for a good two hours watching everybody stuff their faces with it and broke down and had one bite of a prosciutto sandwich. Then said to myself what are you doing fatty that is how you became this way. They were understanding but also said it is only one day just work out more tommarow. Not for me any more, isolation is the only way I think I can get unaddicted to bad food.
The haters are always gonna hate. I'm studying for the CPA exam and I here the same garbage. When are you going to pass? Didn't you learn that in college. Blah blah blah.
i've been called "manorexic" and pretty much all those listed by coach wayne and it comes from everywhere. funny thing is that my buddy who calls me "manorexic" eats under 1000 calories a day to loose weight. i eat more than twice him and he still calls me that. if we are out eating he'll say something sarcastic when i order something healthy and clean. he'll eat buffalo wings/tenders then won't eat the rest of the day. isn't that backwards?
“Your abs are asymmetrical.” “Your dog is trying to hump your leg in the video.” hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That definitely sounds like something a hater would say!!!!!!! lol!
Awesome, thank you so much. I have cut dairy a year ago already, last month I thought, I'll treat myself to a coffee latte, which use to be my favorite in the past, poor me, I almost through up and felt so bad for the whole day! No more dairy for me. :)
Great post. Keep it up Coach! I have a question, I am having a hard time shredding that last excess of fat, around the stomach of course... :) I am planning to do the Asylum plan 'n simple. I have done P90X and P90x/Insanity all on fat shredding diet. I look much better but those six pack are playing hard to get. Anyway, I am not giving up. The question is, Can I do the Asylum on fat shredding (P90X diet style?) 1800 Calories, 5ft10 and 161 pounds for 43 years old. My purpose is to get that last layer of fat to go away in 30 days.
Definitely Igor! That is what a lot of the Asylum Crazies did, and they had great results! Cut out dairy too.
Hey coach, great article. I get the "you look skinny" or "don't lose any more weight" a lot. "He's on a special diet" is one of my favorites. It's amazing how many people become insecure when they see you making a transformation. They honestly are too scared or too complacent to change and probably a little jealous b/c they know how much hard work goes into it. The fact is what we do isn't a diet, its a lifestyle decision. Eating fast food and not working out is a lifestlye decision as well. In my opinion, this is the easiest of the two decisions. Yes it takes hard work and dedication, but my end results ALWAYS justify the means...
Coach Wayne one of my personal favorites... "Dont worry you can eat that you'll just burn it off tomorrow" & that boys and girls is how I got to be 250lbs and be able to hide my entire smartphone under my stomach.
Man, This is great Wayne. It is weird but it helps to know that everyone else is experiencing the same things and most of the time it is from your "close" friends and family. I think they misstate their concerns too though. So I just take it in love as it was probably meant to be from those that are close to me. The funniest one was from my wife after finishing P90X and telling her I wanted to do x2. She said the one in your list, Are you going to do this forever? I replied, you mean exercise and eat healthy so I can live a long, healthy, happy life? She didn't say anything after that. From that point, she has been supportive. She really has helped to make a difference and even tried some of the healthy recipes in the nutrition guide. I think we all need to understand them if we want them to understand us but just ignore those that don't really love you or care about and are just jealous. I think there needs to be a difference in how we handle the critics.
Great article Coach and a very important one for new comers! Bottom line, don't let negative people take up space in your head. If they are commenting, your doing something right, use as a positive. Words to live by in all aspects! Worst thing someone can do is judge someone else. "judgement free zone"
I've heard all of those from my own dad! The rest of my family too, but my dad the most. That's fun.
“I’m worried that you are becoming obsessed with working out.” I've heard that one already lol! But once I get my true success story then I'm hoping people will take BeachBody products and myself more serious!
I have heard most of it. And today was the kicker when my mom asked if I was going to become anorexic! Oh well. I think the ones that hurt the most are the comments that come from family. Always thinking that my workouts are just an excuse to kill time and that I should be doing something more productive then worring about when I'm going to workout. Then my friends who are trying to me helpful but always ask me "Where can you eat?" It's like whats the big deal with ordering a salad from any place that we go? Oh man! The hits just keep coming and I just keep pushing play and smiling EVERYDAY! :)
No one should be able to use the excuse of I dont have enough time in the day to workout for 1 hour. I'm in Afghanistan and I find a way to workout for 1 hour a day, so If you're sitting in the US, there is absolutely no reason for you not to be able to take 1 hour out of your day. It's completely possible to get awesome results, I have over 80 people to vouch for me that it only took 90 days to get in awesome shape. Haters are always going to HATE.
Oh yea this is so true! But like you said coach if you know your why it will out weigh any negative feedback you get! :) keep bringing it!
I get the negativity from my family.." you're going to hurt yourself".. "you work out too much"... "you're too skinny already".. So my answer back is.." well let me just sit on the couch, watching tv and develop type 2 diabetes with you then?!?" I think NOT!
Great post Coach Wayne! Love the comments, as I've heard more than half of those too! Some from my wife BTW LOL!!! Other than family.. who really cares what the haters think! Thanks to you, people like myself have gotten their health back on track thanks to you! With X, X2, and now BodyBeast! I enjoy working out every morning and feel re-engerized, like my highshcool/college days of working out! I can go on and on, but thanks to you... we're all bringing it! BTW... why are you still reading this..? "This is a drop set, no rest!" LOL!
It is horrible how human nature is to tear down those who are moving forward in a positive direction. I have had people encourage me, until they saw the commitment I was making. I have also been ridiculed for tracking my food and for my food choices. It is sad when the same people who have ridiculed me, their health has deteriorated. At the same time, I quit caring what other people think about. They don’t have to pay for my groceries or health insurance. I hope to inspire people by my positive lifestyle changes. Thanks Wayne, for being an inspiration to me.
It's funny how no one ever asked about my health when I was fat, but as soon as I dropped to a healthy weight everyone assumed I was sick.
Wow! You are so right!! I'm starting my second round of p90x soon and I did it last year then took off for a bit to hit the gym, but the truth is, there is nothing like p90x. And you are so right about the negative feedback from people the only people that are supporting me is my mom and dad. Everyone else thinks I'm obsessed with working out, and being healthy. They try and pressure me just to eat this one little sweet or skip one workout, but I never do. It's called dedication. I.love this app by the way! It makes me realize p90x is changing a lot more people out there too!!
I cant believe still ppl say CW "skinny" LOL. 220lbs 6ft4 guy I think you look like a Super Model haha :-)
Ha! I literally LOL'd at the dog humping comment! Can't say I didn't notice but I thought it was so "real". Wayne, you've been a great influence and inspiration to me! These @$$holes who have nothing better to say are not worth your time. I've told you I'm a police officer and all I deal with is "negative" people, if I let them actually have any sort of impact on me I would have become a monk a long time ago! I'm sure you are not worried about what they have say because I have no doubt you are as strong mentally as you look and are physically!!!! Keep doing what you are doing and remember for all the negative nelly's who do leave comments there are a whole lot more of us out there that support you and are proud to call you our coach and fitness mentor! We just don't always speak up! Thank you for always being a beacon on my fitness voyage! Chuck
Hey coach, I'm am on my phase 2 recovery week and i was wondering how many calories i should eat during it. I am still moderately active. So should i do 1800, 2400, 3200 or somewhere in between?
Great article, coach! Ever since I moved back home this summer, I've got pleasant comments and such about my results so far. My mother is my biggest supporter but she said once that she's worried about me losing weight TOO FAST. She's fine with me losing weight but when you tell the casual person, let alone your mother, that you lost 80 pounds in just 5-6 months, the first thing that pops up will likely be an eating disease or a pill that makes you starve yourself. I assured her that I'm eating plenty through the day and exercising a good amount each day. I am simply focusing on weight loss and gaining muscle in the meantime. She got better from there. Can't wait to go back this Thanksgiving/Christmas with a 6-pack when just in the beginning of the year, I had a big ol' keg! :) People need to be around like-minded people with the support they deserve. I know I have mine from the several FB groups you have set up. Thank you for that. Bring it, everybody!
Amen! I've been doing p90x and various hybrids for over a year now, so I've become completely habituated to this lifestyle. However, in the beginning, and still from time to time, I would always have folks try and entice me with what I would consider "cheat snacks" etc., but I never wavered. This, in conjunction with abstaining from alcohol, incited a good bit of resentment from my friends. Yet, as the months passed, and I became more fit and eventually ripped, they saw that I was serious about it and the well-intentioned goading came to a halt. As a matter of fact, three of them just started doing p90x classic together (I agreed to lend them my copy - except for core syn. because I'm still head over heels like a dreya roll for that routine lol). In short, it does get better. If nothing else, find solace in knowing that no matter the feedback that you're receiving from others, your results and rigid adherence to a new lifestyle are making an impact.
BRAVO Coach! You said it all perfectly. One of the reasons I love coming here to your site is that you understand the importance of striving to be the best we can be with our fitness goals. You provide great information and have had excellent results from your hard work. BEAST ON BROTHER!
What I enjoy about eating and working out is that if you stay with it long enough it all becomes second nature. And that is the best part where you are riding the wave of a healthy life and don't even have to think about it anymore. That is the best part of my journey is that on my off days I am 500% more healthier than I was ever before P90X came into my life. I can eat clean all the time and not even give it a second thought. My body runs clean. I sleep great. I have more energy for my family. I am also disciplined at work as well. There is no pill or gizmo that can achieve such great things in so many areas and yet people will be negative. And if you try to approach someone they get all defensive. If you respond to a question about what your eating or how you stay in shape they scoff. If you look good and carry yourself well they will say that you are on something! I learned that not everyone wants to be happy and healthy. So I am a walking billboard and proud of it.
Coach Wayne you are right on the money. If I had a $1 for every time I heard people say you are too skinny, I am worried about you not getting enough food to eat, you are disappearing, I would be rich. I have heard it all from family and friends that may mean well, but I know if they had the choice to be 228lbs compared to 282 they would feel a lot happier and better. I keep pressing play, take the negative comments and flip them into something positive. Doing p90x makes me say in my mind to these naysayers man up and shut up.
I see a lot like the ones from your bottom list; "Come on, ONE cheat meal isn’t going to hurt you." --- yep a lot of this MY PERSONAL FAVORITE from my Grandmother, "but it's fat free" this one always makes me laugh, good ol' grandma :) “You're not going to lose anymore weight are you?” (also one of my favorites ... i hover around 208 these days @ 6'3") “You don't come out to eat and drink with us anymore.” (and actually I've been passively accused of being addicted to games etc. because of this, just because i am no longer restaurant hopping every Friday night, or what have you) Late night texts telling me to come out, no thanks. --- Yeah well these BB programs have me following a plan. Working out without a nutrition plan and drinking alcohol and eating out 2-3 times/week is going to easily put a plateau on your efforts, and ultimately it's a waste of my time and money. Actually I have noticed a plateau on their efforts and the partying is precisely why many of the stone throwers aren't seeing my kind of results. So sometimes I'm not sure what it is about a few of these comments. Some comments are really easy to pass off (like my grandmother's, just silly). Sometimes I think you find over time who really cares about you in life. Some comments are detrimental to your trust in people for a goal in your life. Surround yourself with positive people and positive things will happen. But no matter what continue to set an example because when you are trying hard ... you're being held to another level.
Pretty much maintaining right now Josh. Not looking to gain with my big ride coming up. Loving the workouts though!
Your are soooooooooo right coach I hear that all time time... don't get skinny you look sick... I have heard all that its tough.... but then I get home and put in a work out and see my results and its all out the window... I run with my 3 year old and while the other parents are whizzing and watching.... its awesome!!!!! Wicked article coach! BEAST UP!
This post applies perhaps to EVERY facet of life. When others consider your dreams impossible; when they do not understand your drive; or they are unable to push themselves beyond the status quo to raise the bar, they then say you cannot accomplish the task either. Undertaking to achieve the impossible kindles the fire within me and watching others conquer the unbeatable ignites the fire.
Yep, the only way to be the tallest building on the block is to knock the other ones down. People don't want to admit that you did something that they couldn't do. Bring it!!!!!!!
preach it brother wayne!!! I'm starving right now!!! Ever since I have gone to eating 6 times a day.. I am getting more and more hungry!!! Im sticking to the 1900 cals for now... I appreciate all the hard work you are putting into this page.. you should write a book, my friend... organize all these posts into chapters.. great read. and add me on myfitnesspal please... maddoxtroy is my name. I need more accountability. Thanks again!
Haters gonna hate. You are right in the statement that being fit makes some people uncomfortable because at their core they are struggling with certain levels of confidence in their own health. Interesting read and definitely a certain of those we can all relate to. All walks of life I've observed that some people just hate success and find it threatening instead of encouraging. Thanks for words of wisdom. I signed up for you to be my new coach (and cc'ed you on the email). Hopefully it goes through soon. -Scott